“I’m Here”

Today is one of those days where I am writing to you about a time and place that I would have not thought I was going to share with you today. Monday after posting I was looking up a “fun song” that I felt like God was leading me to share. I always look up the words to the songs to make sure I know what I think it is saying. Instead my research lead me down another path. A place I haven’t thought about in a while.

The place God had me parked in all yesterday let’s me know that I need to share this story with someone out there.

Almost 9 years ago I stood on the edge of life…or close to death as so many would put it.

I knew God was in my corner. He had told me before I even began this walk that He had won the battle. Let me say that again in case someone is in the middle of a battle….HE HAS ALREADY WON YOUR BATTLE!

This battle was a place I would have REALLY not wanted to participate in. God wanted to use for good what Satan had meant for harm. Oh, how I wish I could have known then what I know now.

Remember, how I mentioned in my last post that music is a way God uses to speak powerfully to me. This all began during this journey down at Shands. (You can read about it in the “About” section up above.) Within the first 2 weeks of being at Shands a friend had brought me a CD to listen to. She had no idea the gift she was giving me and how it would be used for me to feel God’s breath on my face.

It was the CD called City on a Hill from various artists. Most of which I had never heard of.

It was back in the day when all I had was a Walkman CD player. (Haha – bet that takes many of you back! 🙂 ) I would have it on me along with all the other tubes and body monitoring devices that the doctors would insist on having attached to my body. It was yellow and black. I would play it all day and Kevin would have to change out the batteries every other day to keep it going.

I can remember playing it to escape in my mind. I would soak up the words to each song. I MEAN SOAK!

One night I remember very vividly was when I was moved into a semi-private room because that was all they had available for the night. I was in the room with an elderly woman who was VERY SICK. I mean I was VERY SICK too but somehow the drugs had me calmed down to where the healing could take place.

This precious woman was hallucinating, moaning and yelling all night. I can remember being scared at first. Then I can remember being mad that someone wasn’t doing something to knock her out of her pain! But later as I turned up the volume to my music to drown out the noise, I can remember spending most of the night praying for this woman and her family.

I listened to this song over and over and man did it bring me revelation and comfort all at the same time.

My hands shake as I write this and the tears are so real as I realize how my God loves me and was right there beside me through so much. He is more real than the breath I breathe each second of the day. I praise God for the Holy Spirit as he moves and ministers to us in our deepest need!! Oh how I wish so many could know this TRUTH!

I can remember thinking – this is HELL. To hear the screams of those in pain but not being able to do anything about it. Hell is a very real place that I will not be visiting!!! But I Praise God everyday that my job now is to share Jesus and His healing love with others as well as His saving grace to those who need it so that they will not have to visit there either.

I mentioned to someone the other day that I would go through all of it again and again to know what I know now and to be in this place where I feel so close to my Savior, my Healer and my Deliverer! That is a strong statement but very true!

God uses an ordinary person just like me, who still has pity parties, who often loses my temper with my kids, who many times says the wrong thing to others, who over indulges in chocolate a little too much and who does have a dirty house from time to time. It is with all humble sincerity that I know God uses me and my story to share with others. I have to…because it is not my story but HIS!

Oh my heart’s desire today is that you see the rawness of the fact that God is with you, no matter where you are – He is near and closer than your breath. He conquer’s death! AMEN!

Ok…let me just post the words to the song right now…you will see what I am talking about. The power that is in them is overwhelming to me. I pray it is to you too.

My life is up and it is down
I try to keep both feet on the ground
Your love is all that gets me through
All I need on this earth is you

And I can hear your voice reciting:
“I’m here, I’m closer than your breath
I’ve conquered even death
I am still here
And just like I was then
You can’t remember when I was not here”

Jesus, you’re the author of my heart
Told me you wanted every part
And now my life and its demands
Are resting safety in your hands

And I can hear your voice inviting:
“I’m here,
I’ll never leave your side
My stubborn weary child
I am still here
Please let me lead you on
Your race is already won
I am your God”

And I can hear your voice inviting:
“I’m here,
I’ll never leave you side
My stubborn weary child
I am still here
Please let me lead you on
Your race is already won
I am…I am…your God”

06 You’re Here. You might have to put my blog in two internet windows so that you can see the words as you listen.

I am praying for you as you listen and asking God to bring you hope and comfort! Please feel free to share this story with others –


  1. I wanted to tell you what a blessing your blog has been to me. Not only has it ministered to me, right where I am, but it has also allowed me to minister to others and be a blessing to them by forwarding on your posts. Thank you for following God’s leading and taking up this task.

  2. Thank you Emily for passing my posts on to others. Your words of encouragement are a blanket of blessing today. Thanks! Sometimes those leadings are flooded in so I could use your prayers that God would get them all straight in my head! 🙂 At least I know my obedience is paying off for HIS GLORY!

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