2015 has started out in a fog. I think it has to do with the cold meds I have been consuming for the better part of 2 weeks. That slushy-type feeling when things really don’t make sense, but you know they are suppose to. On New Year’s Eve, I was seriously ready to close the door fast on 2014. Wham bam thank you ma’am! Very gently, God whispered to me that maybe I could have a better perspective if I would look back and think on the areas where I saw God’s presence the most.  Not focusing on the immediate now of panic or frustration, but instead of rubbing my tear stained eyes and starting from the beginning to remember what actually happened that was good. My friend Lara Williams (to Overflowing) recently  spoke this…

There’s been a question repeating in me this morning. “What am I gathering in my spirit?” Gathering. Am I gathering up insults or criticisms or fears or worries? Or am I gathering up God’s promises or Truths? Because whatever I gather up, determines what I believe and whatever I believe determines whatever I speak and what I do. And what I speak and do affects the people and world around me. Asking God to help me gather up true things today. Only by His Grace.

So I began to take a journey to look backwards and find new perspective about the place that I am now sitting. Those blessings began to overflow life a waterfall.  Walk back with me if you will. *  Stepping out to take HUGE LEAPS of faith by taking a position to lead with an organization I deeply admire.   This brought all my insecurities and insufficiencies to the surface.  I needed to hear and walk with the Holy Spirit so intimately that He was directing every move I made. * Learning that being transparent actually brings those fears to the surface but it also allows God to bring more clarity and vision. * Watching my first born celebrate her 16th birthday.  Realizing these are new milestones that I want God to be apart of. *  Learning to let go of routines and trusting God for the end results. #gracemoments * Asking God for BIG AUDACIOUS PRAYERS and seeing Him move and bring miracles.  #onlyhim * Remaining faithful and committed to my marriage even when its rough waters.  Seeing God bring His best because of my faithfulness to seek His face rather than solve it. *  New Adventures and memories by the WHOLE family going on a vacation together.  Thankful for seeing God show up. *  Blessings of new friendships that pop up out of nowhere.  These are God’s gifts wrapped with a bow.  #laughterisgood *  Understanding that tough places in life are preparing me for bigger things.  Realizing that literally, God does not waste anything in our life. *  Having opportunities to lead in more ways than sometimes I desire, but trusting that God is equipping me for it.  It is a process that He doesn’t leave you stranded in the middle of. *  Having fear and anxiety grip the very breath that you breathe but walking out of it with bigger doses of peace.  Those peace packages are what make the enemy nervous. * Interruptions are from Him.  Medical ones too. *  Seeing all 3 of my girls baptized before Christmas and watching the revelation come over them when they realize what it means to be obedient and that obedience become life transforming.  #biggestanswertoprayer Gathering.  Gathering moments that He uses to teach me and make me into His daughter. Seriously, this is the biggest deal I have had hit me in awhile.  What am I gathering?  Am I gathering thoughts of fear and anxiety?  Thoughts that cripple or even feel like I am drowning only to destroy the outcome of what He is wanting in my life. Instead, I want to be gathering those blessings that He has already performed and allowing those thoughts wash over me like a river.  A river that cleanses, not destroys.  As that river washes over me, it makes me stronger for the next “teachable moment”.

John 7:38  “Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! For the Scriptures declare, ‘Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.”

That BIG AUDACIOUS prayer that I prayed back in the spring of last year.  I was at the end of my rope with not knowing how we were going to walk out of a situation.  I knew in my spirit something new and different was coming but prayer was the best weapon I could bring to the table. So I did.  I fasted.  I prayed.  I repeated that same sequence for months. I will never forget that moment of seeing God show up and show out when He revealed to me how He works on so many levels that He accomplishes incomprehensible things that will only bring Him glory.

1 Peter 1:7  “These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.”

I saw the hand of God move. The thought that the guy who hangs the stars in the heavens would care about my heart and go to great impactful lengths to see that my prayer was taken care of…yeah…that gets me on my face thanking my God that He delivers. I am going to gather more this year.  Gather more blessings.

* This post is part of Kelly Balarie’s #raralinkup at her blog, Purposeful Faith.