I haven’t written these last few weeks because well…Life has been busy.
We have been remembering these last couple of weeks. Walking down memory lane from what changed in us in the last year. You see this time last year…like June 6th 2012…my life changed.
It felt as if I could not breathe. I just knew my God had left me and I would have to tackle the diagnosis of cancer of my husband of 17 years. Words just don’t give it justice at what we walked through. Kevin received his diagnosis on June 6th. On June 10th we were headed to Atlanta to one doctor and turned around because God had bigger plans. So on June 11th we flew to Houston, Texas and arrived at 4pm and by 6pm that evening he was hooked up to chemo therapy.
Things went fast.
Today is different. Kevin is healed. We are remembering through the anniversary of what happened last year this time and this brings even more healing for me.
Yes, there are anniversary dates that you have a nice dinner out as a couple and maybe receive some pretty cool flowers to commemorate the day you were married. However, we sometimes have anniversary dates that help us look back and see how God used the last year to grow us in ways that we didn’t think we needed growing in at the time.
When you are at the beginning, all you see is the negative and feel the abandonment. Those are gut-wrentching times. But when the anniversary comes around…you see the wisdom and hand of God in such powerful, life-altering ways.
I have reflected like this before on anniversary events. It helps to bring things into perspective. Almost appreciate the fire of what you went through.
This week I read something that I KNOW I also read last year at this same exact date…
“Together we will face whatever each day brings: pleasure, hardships, adventures, disappointments. Nothing is wasted when it is shared with Me. I can bring beauty out of the ashes of lost dreams. I can glean Joy out of sorrow, Peace out of adversity. Only a Friend who is also the King of kings could accomplish this divine alchemy. There is no other like Me!”
“Strive to trust Me in more and more areas of your life. Anything that tends to make you anxious is a growth opportunity. Instead of running away from these challenges, embrace them, eager to gain all the blessings I have hidden in the difficulties. If you believe that I am sovereign over every aspect of your life, it is possible to trust Me in all situations. Trust is like a staff you can lean on, as you journey uphill with Me. If you are trusting in Me consistently, the staff will bear as much of your weight as needed. Lean on, trust, and be confident in Me with all your heart and mind.”
These are those words that I hung onto during those days in June as we made our decision to head to Texas for our treatment for cancer. These are devotional words that spoke volumes to me even when I had no idea what they meant, but at the same time knew the ONE who spoke them into the deep crevices of my heart.
Looking back I see the absolute hand of God. Thinking back to that week…last year…this time, experiencing the smells, the thoughts and even the food we ate has a purpose in helping us to appreciate all that we have been through.
I am finding with each day that passes that God is using those feelings I felt and the massive teachings I learned (or even those I am still learning) in sharing with others that may be going through the same thing. It is when I am transparent that I can be used by God to share those thoughts with others.
Just last night, I was talking with a friend who is struggling to see God in the midst of her situation. She is young, but she is learning to put the Word of God, that He has already placed into her heart, into action. It is the Jesus we know with skin.
I couldn’t share these things with this friend if I didn’t have this anniversary thing embraced. I have spent many days in the last couple of weeks knowing that this anniversary date was coming up. My heart still flutters and remembers the way it jumped out of my chest as we walked that hard road of learning what was before us, but at the same time trusting our Savior with every breath that we took.
We had no other choice but to trust those Words we have read over and over again.
So on this anniversary date, I am so proud to say that our God did bring us through this mess of cancer. Kevin got a clean report from the doctor when we traveled back to MD Anderson this last week! He is CANCER FREE!
I think that it is appropriate that God would align us finding out that Kevin was still cancer free on his one year anniversary, but also on the National Cancer Survivor Week. Kevin is a survivor! What a special honor to have.
We are praising Jesus and doing the Jesus dance every day around here! Life smells different, we smile more, take relationships more seriously and hug each other more because we have seen the hand of God in the reflection of this anniversary thing.
Last Sunday, we visited the church that we attended while in Houston and heard this song. It resonated with all that I was feeling as I remembered those first couple of weeks. I pray you will find comfort in it.
Blessings to you friends that prayed with us through it all! We will never be able to thank you enough but we have asked that God will bless you abundantly because you went to the Throne on behalf of our family!
We serve a very mighty God!