Ok…I need to get real with some of you today. I am trying to be transparent but those of you who know me personally know that I can keep my head up but reality will set in sometimes.
There are waves of this processing stuff that we are dealing with. Some moments we are trying to walk in Praising God and “Count it all joy when you face trials of many kinds”…at least wearing a smile on our face for a couple of moments during the day. Then the next moment, every precious story of friends and family we hear brings tears flowing in all directions.
I get the fact, that this is part of the process. I am also learning when I try to “stuff” my feelings and not deal with them…it is not healthy. I walked through years of that and IT. DIDN’T. WORK.
Last night was one of those moments for both Kevin and I at the same time.
We are overwhelmed by the out pouring of God’s love as He uses His Body to minister to us in so many ways. People who have sent emails, texts, cards, and even comments here on the blog have helped in massive ways to minister to us in the deep parts of our soul. They have spoken volumes.
It is through these ways, we the Body, minister to one another that God shows us how much that He really loves us. I told Kevin the other day, that I have taken for granted how just a small comment can bring revelation and joy to someone else’s day. Many times we don’t even get to see the other person’s revelation. It has changed my heart in how I will be more open to simply encourage others around me each day as God leads me.
That is the key that we have learned during these days…as God leads us…to be immediate in our obedience when God leads us to share something with others around us. Am I making sense?
We have been extremely thankful for those in the Body that walk in confidence and obedience to share a word or scripture with us when God tells them to…immediately. We have had friends and family share the most off the wall kind of visions and words from God through scriptures. One friend told me that God said for me to Kiss Kevin and tell him that was from our Lord. Strange? That is the way my God rolls.
He is real.
He is authentic.
He is immediate.
He is serious about immediate obedience.
The worse thing we lose is our pride.
This type of relationship with God is called living by the Holy Spirit. Listening to Him and obeying what He says.
This is hard to do when we first start to listen…but it will grow on you. It sure has us!
When we began this whole process it began with a crazy idea. We headed to Atlanta to meet with a physician that was going to perform surgery on Kevin at 1 pm. Literally 28 miles away from the hospital we reached out to a contact that my father had gotten us with the head of the Oncology Department here at MD Anderson. We prayed radical prayers for God to give us a peace of mind and an answer to what we were to do.
After about 2 minutes of sitting in silence…I said, “what did you hear?” We felt God lay it on our heart without a doubt to head to Texas but once we were able to go home and tell our girls face to face.
We turned our car around and began phone calls to book our flight. Did we know the answers to every question? No. But we had a direction and a beginning plan.
Let me share with you a devotional that my mom sent me that I think better explains what I am trying so hard to convey but might be messing it all up completely. This is a devotional written by Girlfriends in God devotionals.
June 20, 2012
Struggling Together in Prayer
by Sharon Jaynes
“I urge you, brothers, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to join me in my struggle by praying to God for me,” (Romans 15:30 NIV).
Friend to Friend
I am so glad that God gave us girlfriends who will struggle with us in prayer. Paul wasn’t a Girlfriend in God, but he certainly understood the power of praying for our friends.
He wrote: “I urge you, brothers, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to join me in my struggle by praying to God for me” (Romans 15:30 NIV). “Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should” (Ephesians 6:18-20 NIV).
The New Testament was originally written in Greek and sometimes looking at the original definitions of the words can give us great insight. The Greek word Paul uses for struggle in Romans 15:30 is sunagonizomai, which means “to struggle in the company of; i.e., to be a partner (assistant), strive together with.” The root word means “to endeavor to accomplish something: fight, labor fervently, strive,” for example, to compete for a prize or to contend with an adversary.
Prayer for another person is not simply a nice thing to say or a pat on the back. It is more than a “God bless Suzie.” When we tell someone that we will pray for them we are agreeing to put on the armor of God (Ephesians 6) and head to the front lines of battle on her behalf.
Many ancient shields had brackets attached to the sides. These brackets were a type of latch that soldiers could use to lock shields during battle. When the shields were locked together, the soldiers moved as one force, forming a barricade against the enemy. Alone, the shield was a small defense. Together they formed a human wall. Do you see the significance? When we lock arms in prayer with others, we are locking our shields together and forming a powerfully strong fortress of defense.
One night I was in the restroom touching up my makeup before speaking to several hundred women. I was having one of those moments when I looked in the mirror and several thoughts began to swirl in my mind. What am I doing here? What do I possibly have to say to these women that could make any difference in their lives? I am not capable of walking to that podium tonight.
While I was mulling over the lies, the fiery darts Satan was shooting into my mind, my cell phone rang.
Hi Sharon. This is Mary. (My GiG Mary) Where are you?”
“Actually, I’m standing in the restroom at a speaking engagement getting ready to walk out on the stage. I forgot to turn off my cell phone!”
“I want you to know,” Mary continued, “God interrupted me while I was cooking dinner and told me to pray for you. Not only that, He told me to call you…now.”
I imagined Mary standing in her kitchen with spaghetti sauce simmering on the stove and stopping mid-stir. There might have been a little conversation with God that went something like this:
“Call Sharon and pray for her”, God might have said.
“Could you just wait a minute God? The sauce is almost done.”
“Call Sharon and pray for her,” God repeated.
“Ok, Ok, I’ll do it now,” she sighed.
There was great power in Mary’s instant obedience. If she had waited, I would not have known that she was praying. Not only did God prompt her to pray at that moment, He prompted her to tell me that she was doing so. Why? God knew that there was power in her prayer and He wanted me to know that I was not going into battle alone. He had called Mary to “struggle with me,” to “strive together in battle,” to lock shields with me and march into victory.
I totally got the picture that God was wanting me to get with the wall of armor that you guys were building to help us fight the war of this cancer.
I have said in recent days that GOD HAS THIS. He is beginning to show us how deep and wide this goes through the Body of Christ too! That picture is just mind boggling!
There is a song that I listen to each night before bed. God introduced it to me back in January and again one afternoon while cleaning my screen porch in May. (see, he was previously preparing me for this battle.) That hot day, I broke down to my knees realizing the picture he was trying to convey to me of the love He has for His children…no matter who you are, where you are or what you have done. I couldn’t understand whey he was pushing me to organize things and do spring cleaning with such a passion.
I remember that day well. While listening to a podcast while vacuuming I asked Jesus, “this is suspicious…what are you up to Lord?” Then I would break out in Praise while washing down a dirty pollen filled porch? It was like His heart was descending on me at that moment. I knew that if anyone saw me they would think I was crazy. But I knew it was from God at the same time. So I unashamedly went with it.
Nighttime is the hardest time for us. It is when everything is quiet. So that is when I put in my headphones wrap up in my prayer shawl and blare this song and find myself at the feet of Jesus again.
Love you army of prayer warriors out there. I now have a Visual of what He is doing in the Invisible. God hears every one of those prayers!