Sorry for the tardiness in getting back to this small place on my blog to update you guys on our trip to MD Anderson for Kevin’s check up. All went well. We walked away with a good report, but had some hiccups along our visit that took us back to the memory of the very beginning of our journey. Allowing the fear to strike us again was a place I wasn’t anticipating on going. God still taught us in the midst of it all. Thank you for all of your prayers!
Remembering where you have been as well as anticipating where God is taking you is a crossroads that I have been traveling these last few weeks. Recently, while in Houston at Kevin’s check up at MD Anderson, God impressed upon me these thoughts through my devotional with Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.
Be willing to go out on a limb with Me. If that is where I am leading you, it is the safest place to be. Your desire to live a risk-free life is a form of unbelief. Your longing to live close to Me is at odds with your attempts to minimize risk. You are approaching a crossroads in your journey. In order to follow Me wholeheartedly, you must relinquish your tendency to play it safe.
Let Me lead you step by step through this day. If your primary focus is on Me, you can walk along perilous paths without being afraid. Eventually, you will learn to relax and enjoy the adventure of our journey together. As long as you stay close to Me, My sovereign Presence protects you wherever you go.
I closed that book quickly on that Sunday morning because that was not really what this Jesus girl was wanting to hear. Going out on limbs? I have worn that t-shirt. I didn’t want to go on that ride again.
“My desire to live risk free life is a form of unbelief.”
That is where my mind has literally gone in the last couple of weeks. That desire to live risk free. Does it exist? We have gone through the life threatening trials on several occasions and I was ready to move on into the “normal” phase.
God wouldn’t let me let it go…My next devotional by Sarah Young that I read that same morning continued on with that same theme. Coincidence? Afraid not! IT WAS ALL GOD!
I am calling you to a life of constant communion with Me. Basic training includes learning to live above your circumstances, even while interacting on that cluttered plane of life. You yearn for a simplified lifestyle, so that your communication with Me can be uninterrupted. But I challenge you to relinquish the fantasy of an uncluttered world. Accept each day just as it comes, and find Me in the midst of it all.
Talk with Me about every aspect of your day, including your feelings. Remember that your ultimate goal is not to control or fix everything around you; it is to keep communing with Me. A successful day is one in which you have stayed in touch with Me, even if many things remain undone at the end of the day. Do not let your to-do list (written or mental) become an idol directing your life. Instead, ask My Spirit to guide you moment by moment. He will keep you close to Me.
Basic training includes learning to live above your circumstances, even while interacting on that cluttered plane of life.
Immediately that morning, literally within minutes of reading this excerpt, I was thrown back into basic training…again.
Even though I have seen death’s doorstep with myself and my husband, I was having to walk this path of basic training once more. I was once again learning to remember where I had been and what God had taught me.
On the morning of the appointment there had been a mistake and we received a call that they needed more blood work. The surge of panic went through my limp body.
Yep, you can imagine the thoughts that I listened to in my head. I quickly had to remember the wise words I had just read.
PSALM 23:4 “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”
“It was just an oversight. No need for panic. We just forgot to order certain tests.” said the Physicians Assistant.
Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.
1 Thessalonians 5:17
I hung on to the very life of these scriptures. I knew My God had not left me, but was just beginning to question His plan.
This week, I had a conversation with an individual who is in his cancer recovery journey and still goes for regular check up and scans. I shared with him my experience of the recurring panic that swept through me that morning of Kevin’s appointment and my disappointment in myself for doubting God when we had seen His miraculous hand. He smiled because he knew all too well those thoughts and tendencies. He assured me that God still loved me and still wanted to hold my hand. Sometimes our Lord shows and reminds us where He has taken us and the faithfulness of His powerful hand during the midst of everything when it seems it is crumbling all around.
During these last couple of months as I have had a hard time finding the time to just sit down and write, I have watched this music video that I have attached by Audio Adrenalin I know 20 times. It overwhelmed me with the message God has been sending me. I have tried to sort out this post for weeks now.
This song will be used in a movie that will be coming out in 2014. It is about a boy who was born blind and had a desire to learn to surf. Can you imagine the fear on his parent’s mind. Surf…being blind.
How many times are we blind to the vastness of God and how He helps us climb the mountains of our faith and journey into an ocean that many times is more than we can bear. Being a believer is what gives us strength. Our faith is in the redeeming work of the blood of Jesus.
I am a very visual person and the words of this song just goes hand in hand with what my discussions with God tend to look like on many days. Because everything in recent years goes back to the “water” images, this song exemplifies so much.
I want to be strong and know the depth of what God has called me to do on so many levels, but believing that when He takes me to the deeper parts – I have to rely on Him totally is the key to not drowning.
I hope you will check out the video and then the movie trailer afterward to see the story behind the movie.
I pray that these words bless you in some way. Or maybe you know someone else that might need these words. Please forward this on to them.
Audio Adrenaline’s video of Believer.
Movie trailer: Beyond sight