One week ago today, everything changed.
I wasn’t expecting it, I wasn’t ready for it, but I now can vaguely see how God was preparing us for it. Through podcasts, books, songs, conversations, even gardening activities that seemed to happen a little earlier in the season than usual.
We have come a LONG WAY in 7 days.
I read this from a friend yesterday…
“When a defining moment comes along you can do one of two things:
– Define the moment or
– Let the moment define you.”
I think sometimes this last week, I can resemble both of those.
I woke Tuesday with a peace that was truly from God. Praise the Lord. Soaking myself in scriptures has been so helpful. I hope that reading them from time to time out loud to Kevin has helped him too. It seems to.
I knew that it was going to be a day of also putting on my big girl panties to start making some decisions about where we will go on Thursday when Kevin is able to leave the hospital.
We need prayer that we will be led to exactly the right hotel/extended stay place that God wants us to go to. We will for sure be staying in Houston till after the second chemo treatment on the 29th.
I am having to realize that this is my journey as well as Kevin’s. It’s my children’s journey. It’s our parent’s journey. It’s the church we belong to journey. It’s the Body of Christ’s journey as well.
I experienced some firsts yesterday….
I had someone ask me in the elevator, “Are you here for treatments?” I replied, “No, my husband is.” He then said something that I hadn’t yet grasped… “Oh, you are the caregiver…you job is very important, you will do great.”
WHAT? I had to let that one simmer for a bit in my gut.
Later, I went into a room in the lobby of the hotel where there was walls lined with materials on Cancer. I immediately swallowed hard. I wasn’t ready for this step.
I took a deep breath and thought to myself…it won’t hurt to just look.
After several breaths, I ended taking 3-4 informational booklets on cancer and treating the patient. I am allowing Grace for God to tell me when to read them. It may be today, it may be next week.
It even seems so surreal as I even write this.
Another step I took yesterday was I had my first cup of coffee in the last week. My stomach was trying to process too much if you know what I mean.
I rode the bicycle for 5 miles in the hotel gym. I needed this more than I realized.
I washed our clothes in the laundry at the hotel. (let’s just say, I will never complain about washing clothes at home again!)
I realized it was ok to laugh really hard out loud. God has a sense of humor too! I praise God for my closest friends that have showered me with some laughter. There is also laughter that comes from pictures my girls are texting me throughout the day.
On that note, if you have been following my story for the last week – you know that our dog, Reese, currently has 40 some odd stitches on her back along with a lampshade around her head. She is being taken to get the stitches out but more importantly THE LAMPSHADE REMOVED! 🙂
So laughter is good.
Our prayer requests:
* Peace overwhelming Peace to flow through Kevin.
* Kevin’s willingness to eat healthier food.
* Maintain good blood pressure levels.
* Good transition from hospital to hotel
* our next “home” for the next month.
* angels to minister to us and for us to minister to.
* safe travel for my father as he goes home Thursday. Jamie, Kevin’s brother will stay with
Gonna leave you with something that I read that encouraged me yesterday. Traci Miles wrote about this on her blog.
In Tony Evan’s book, Between A Rock and A Hard Place (2010), he said this:
“He tests you, and me, because He wants what is best for us. He tests us because He is getting ready to do something amazing in our lives. The way that He tests us is by putting us in a stressful scenario. God puts us on a treadmill. He designs a unique treadmill test to measure and reveal the real condition of our souls.
Of course, no one likes a trial. No one wakes up in the morning, stretches, and says, “Ah, what a beautiful day for a trial! I think I’d like to have a trial today!” That would be an unusual person who would do something like that. Yet, no matter how much we want to avoid trials in our lives, trials are inevitable. No one is immune to trials”
Trials – some more stressful than others – will always come. We all have to make a choice. To either prepare our hearts to handle the stress, or allow the stress to damage our hearts.
The key to stressed-less living is not living a stress free life, but learning to trust God and embrace His joy and peace in the midst of our stressful lives. It requires accepting and believing that somehow, someday, some way… God is teaching us to trust Him, and seek peace from Him, and Him alone.
I told Kevin the other day, all He requires from us right now is to TRUST HIM. When we do that Peace will come. That is our step each moment of each day.
I was getting ready to walk over to the hospital this morning and played a random song on my iPhone and low an behold – it blew my socks off. (which you shouldn’t wear in Texas anyway, because its too hot!)
Keep your prayers coming. They are helping us float! You guys are amazing with your encouragement! We love you!